Wednesday, February 15, 2012

嚮往簡單,卻不簡單

這裡,被我凋空了八個月。
其實這段時間,情緒是多的
只是我都不願意把它化作文字
很多東西都太過艱難了

混進城市生活的這段時間
我越是覺得不了解我自己
我不停的摸索
卻也發現我從來都沒有跨出那道防線

一直思考,不停的思考
或許我明白自己不喜歡怎樣的生活
可是我偏偏的往這種生活圈子裡跳
長大以後,夢想總是離我越來越遠
現實的逼迫,讓我覺得夢想真的太遙不可及了

我放棄了我相信我會喜歡的工作
因為我明白單憑喜歡是不足以提高生活素質
老實說我不想長期處在沒有錢,要向家人要錢的狀況
所以我推掉低薪的就業機會
選擇了一份穩定和過得去的工作
每天朝九晚五的日常作息

這份工作和我想做的截然不同
但是我選擇給自己一次機會
去找到自己到底適合怎樣的工作性質
因為我發現我越來越不懂我
所以才要借由不同的事物去發掘自己的興趣

將近三個月了
不是不喜歡也不是討厭
至少讓我認清的是
只要這是我的責任和工作
就算是不怎麼喜歡
我還是會盡力的去完成它接受它
首要條件是我付出的和我的薪水要成正比
那就萬事ok!
看得出我非常現實和愛錢

以上的代價就是我越來越宅
越來越封閉我自己
每天就只剩下工作吃電腦睡覺
這四個名詞與動詞佔據了生活的百分之九十五
剩下的百分之五就偶爾約朋友
生活就以三行字精簡的解說
悶到爆燈!

這樣的生活讓我多了時間想
日日夜夜得空就想
想多了就覺得越來越寂寞
外表正常得沒話說
內在就越來越像個瘋子
很多事已經沒辦法可以拿來暢談了
我受不了人家的不耐煩
因為連我都受不了我自己

那一個晚上
以另一個人的角度看回自己寫的文字
才赫然發現其實我一直處在黑暗裡
寂寞得自己都不願意承認
連自己都覺得自己可憐
這種重疊的痛
逼得我眼淚不停的掉

我的自信,我的自我
全部都在那天一併埋葬
我似乎沒有信心能夠勝任生活裡的每件事
越來越渺小 越來越渺小
小得像只螞蟻
輕輕一壓就窒息了

Monday, June 20, 2011

怪咖

夜越深
心情越复杂
这里开始变得只有寂寞时
才会回来的地方。
可悲~

心情 真的太飘浮不定了。
为什么会有那么大的落差?
肯定又是寂寞在作祟

为什么总觉得人生乱糟糟的?
上帝给的只能盲目的跟随?
我别无选择
只能默默地接受
接受一个一个所谓的安排

为什么我有那么奇怪的想法?
单纯一点行吗?

可怕的寂寞,
迟早你会让我犯错!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Everything in "Pre" level

i'm trying to adapt
the dusty, the noise, the jam, the everything
but can you give me a better sleep?

Confusing, worrying, nervous-ing now?
who knows...just let the time overcome these!

You know you always the strong one in this!

Recently, checked in to Kuchai Avenue.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

还好清醒,不然会很笨拙。

庆幸的是,我很理智。
没让自己陷入困境。

诱惑真多啊!
在天堂的,可不可以给支强心针?


For C members and me

Had been busying for three weeks continuously until i have no time to update here!
A lot of things happened between these three weeks, these make me feel warmth, frustrated and even stress! What complicated feeling on April...Time flies until i have no time to count down the end of my study life. Just left 1 day class for tomorrow! After that coming with study weeks and exam weeks. At the end of May, my degree life officially end!

i think i have to update one by one. But i m really no mood since those were passed for a long time. What a good excuse for me! Haha...trying my best to get the photos only update la...with precondition that i hv mood to do so..=)

12th April 2011
that day should be the last chance for me to have photo shooting with my course mates~~
if you watched a local Chinese movie, then you should know where we went for photo shooting. For me, i have not much feeling because i dint watch at all. but my course mates seem excited with it! besides, my home town has banyak paddy field and i never go to have any photo shooting on the centre on paddy field. What a ridiculous action to went so far for shooting? Well, the reason is simple! Because of them!!!!

Wish you all really have a great future! Muz live happily ya~~

waiting for graduate!!!

The sky of the day~~shiny

i like this view so much~~

Please keep your smile like this..it's mean to me.

guess who is she? i really dunno who is she if i dint notice the heel...

y not look like me 1?

This is real me! Don't get shock...=p

Acting emo~~

Here are some group photos, just pick fews of them...too much we took on that day!
The only guy, Cplus

Me with alice, pei chin. seldom took photo with her!

Walau...i look so slim in this photo...=p

Sometime not ready also can be good 1!



three of us, again~~

Technology Communication's Group.

C stand for Communication!

We are lovely~

not yet well prepare...>.<



what's wrong with me?

Marilyn MonroeSSS?

Kuso...XD

i always laugh nonstop when see this picture!! Really Bravo~~Cheow Hua!

Evening view

After that, we went to "Sea Sky" restaurant to settle our dinner. And, my lovely course mates gave a big suprise to me and kat..actually not suprise at all. Haha~~ A birthday celebration for kat and very early pre-celebration for me.

Chocolate Indulgent with candles!
The candles keep increasing every year..but dun care la...not important at all!

Busying to keep the candles shine...but i din't really make a proper wish for myself.

Here we are, a complete group photo of the day.
thank you for everything.

Now everything come to the end, i really wish that we can left those conflicts behind. Create more good memories among us but not complicated problem. We are going to step into the working world, we will meet more and more complicated human inside that world. So must stay strong to handle them! Don't let them make you down!!

End the post with this! Let's smile like me...hahaha
Cheer up frens~~~